Ups and Downs
By Kathi Nuffer
Finding daycare for a child special needs is a constant uphill battle. My son has been developmentally delayed since the age of 3, and was rejected from numerous daycare situations. In the preschool years, regular daycare places did not want to attend to his special needs. Having a seizure disorder scared away many people, so my only recourse at that time was to quit work and take care of him myself. When this became financially impossible, I tried to find after-school daycare because the school system did not have a program for children with special needs. I finally found one, but then had to find transportation to get him there in the middle of the day. The only other program available was at a school with children who had more severe disabilities. This would not be a good fit for my son, since he would get no stimulation from his environment.
It’s hard for a parent to deal with the medical, financial, and emotional demands of a special needs child. To have to find time to visit different facilities that are willing to take your son leaves little time to do anything else, not to mention maintaining a family life with other children.
When my son reached middle school, there finally was an after-school program at the local high school only a few blocks away. I found it would be a wonderful fit for him. He was very happy there and had a great director who really had a feel for the children. He was there for two years when the county decided to cut programs.
We went back to square one again. With my son now going on 16, he was too old for a private daycare situation, even if one could be found. Plus he was in high school and getting home every day at 2:30-with the rest of the family not due home until 6:00. After having many doors slammed in our faces, we were able to find the residential school, where he has been for the past three years.
This is not the end of the story. It is only a band-aid situation because he is now 19 and will be coming home next year. That’s another bridge we have to cross and another chapter in the life of being a parent of a special needs child/adult.
No one gives you a manual when your child becomes disabled. Everyone wants to help and gives you lots of advice. But when it comes down to reality, it’s just him and you, and you have to find the inner strength to get the best for him.
